How to Talk to Your Aging Parents About Money and Legacy

Gary breaks down how to approach aging parents about money in a way that feels respectful, not transactional.

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When you’re the 50-year-old, going to the 75-year-old parent, that’s another different type of challenge. How have you talked about addressing that?

Having the conversation with the older generation, I think there are many ways of doing it. One way of doing it is anchoring it on values. If I’m in my, you know, forties and fifties, having conversations with someone in their seventies and eighties, I think at that stage of life that they’re at, what you are trying to understand is how can, and many of us understand and actually give elder care.

Right. How can I be thankful, right? For what you’ve provided, not what I’m about to receive. Thankful for what you’ve provided, right? What legacy would you like to leave? Tell me the stories, right? You know, what is it like pull out of them, what it is that they would like to see happen, and how they would like to see that happen.

We will hear the house example lots. Maybe the grandparents want to contribute to the grandchildren’s home, as do maybe the parents, maybe the grandparents want to contribute to the grandchildren’s education.

So I think, David, if we focus and your audience focuses on conversations with their elders, where you’re trying to be respectful, you’re trying to honour their sacrifice and commitment, you’re trying to help them define verbally and eventually you help physically define their legacy, the conversations become easier because the money sits apart from the intent.