Four Liberating Words — How to Stop Overspending

This message is from the most well-received chapter in “The Wealthy Barber Returns,” and it is truly more important now than ever. It’s a simple strategy to stop overspending.

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Mark Quinn, a long-time friend of mine, once called me with one of the most common financial-planning problems. “I’m spending too much,” he admitted, “and I could really use your advice.” So I dropped by his office the next day and pressed him for more details. “It’s simple, really,” he explained. “Every time someone asks me to go to golf, or to go for dinner or to take in a hockey game, I say yes.

It’s getting ridiculous—my lifestyle isn’t matched to my income. I’ve got to cut back. Can you help me? What are some techniques I can employ?” “Well,” I instructed him, “sometimes when people ask you to do something, you’ll have to reply, ‘I can’t afford it.'”

“That’s it?” he replied incredulously. “Come on, that’s all I get?

What about a budget? Or cutting up my credit cards? Or one of your boring lectures on the psychology of spending? Something, give me anything here.” “Just try it,” I pushed him. “That’s all I’m asking.” “Man, I can’t believe you’re a best-selling financial author… whatever,” was his unusual thank you. A month later, I phone Mark and asked him if he wanted to grab a bite to eat and get caught up.

“I can’t afford it,” he replied with a laugh. “Seriously, you won’t believe what a difference saying that has made. I’ve cut back on my spending and I don’t feel any pressure to always go along. I’m less stressed—it’s all good. It sounds crazy, but I actually like saying it.”

Look, paradoxically, “I can’t afford it” is not a limiting statement, but a liberating one.

It frees you from the pressures to live beyond your means, and its unassailable truth makes it easier to deal with temptation. The fact is, we all have limited resources. We can’t possibly do and buy everything we want. There’s no shame in that. Accept it. Don’t fight it. And don’t let your credit card convince you otherwise.

“I can’t afford it.” Sounds dramatic but remembering to use those four simple words from time to time will make a huge difference for you.